There is a war against Black people
I'm tired
Amir Locke was sleeping in his home when it was invaded by state funded murderers. I can’t get his face out of my head. I keep thinking, that poor poor baby. They murdered him as he slept then lied that he had his gun pointed at them, he didn’t. Even if he did, pulling your gun out when your home is invaded without warning is supposedly your right in the so-called United States of America. Except Amir was a Black man living in a country that is at war against Black people so he had no rights. You can blame the no knock warrant, but this about more than that. This is about the fact that we live in a society that has criminalized Black people because this system depends on Black people’s exploitation. Amir Locke was murdered and he will not be the last unless we dismantle this racist system that does not view us as human.
I couldn’t let myself think about Amir for the past day because I was hosting a comedy show and I was scared I wasn’t going to be able to keep it together to get on stage and make people laugh. I was too scared of my feelings because when Philando Castile was murdered I was at work in my cube. I broke down in tears, I had to leave and walk outside as my white coworkers kept working. As if a Black man had not been lynched. I walked and cried right outside the Christian Dior store in Friendship Heights, a symbol of capitalist excess that relies on the oppression of Black people. I had to stop myself from crying because I was scared I would never stop. So I wiped my tears, walked back to the office and kept working on my excel report. That’s what we are forced to do. Black people are forced to keep going, keep doing labor, after watching a person who looks like them be executed by the state. Amir’s family said that his murder was an execution and they are right.
I sat down to write the newsletter and I wanted to have punchlines, I wanted to have jokes, but my heart is too heavy. I use comedy as a coping mechanism but sometimes I can’t make myself laugh and when I can’t do that I cry. Sometimes I’m too scared to cry because I don’t think that I’ll ever stop. I’m tired of crying over Black people being murdered by the police. I’m tired of going to marches to say yet another Black person’s name. I’m tired of people talking about police reform as a solution as if you can reform a guillotine into a care bear. I’m tired of it all. We do not need police reform. We need to abolish the police. We need to abolish this awful imperialist nightmare that forces me to go to work when it has declared war against me and my people.
That’s it from me,
Marcela
PS. My people, I love you and I feel your pain. We have to fight for Amir, Breonna, and all of our murdered siblings.