The United States government is helping corporations raise your rent
I know....typical
I’m so excited to say that Feel the News the comedy show is premiering online this Tuesday, February 15th. Get those tickets here…onto the news!
News that did not surprise me at all
Private equity firms are buying up apartment buildings, raising rents, and reducing maintenance and guess who is helping them. The United States of America’s government. If you guessed an evil entity with unlimited resources that transcends space and time, you were also right. Freddie Mac (no relation to Bernie Mac), a government-owned corporation whose goals include creating affordable housing, has been negating that goal by disproportionately backing private equity firms’ apartment complex purchases. I too have been going against my goal to eat a healthy breakfast by eating cookies for breakfast, but my crime is a victimless crime. Freddie’s crime, which is having 85% of its largest “apartment complex deals” with private equity firms, is a crime that leads to people living in an apartment building with trash in the hallway and higher rent, courtesy of equity firms like Greystar, one of Freddie Mac’s loan recipients. This news doesn’t surprise me at all because as I have said and I’ll say it again, the government is rich people’s piggy bank. We put money in the piggy bank and the piggy bank smashes itself whenever rich people walk up to it.
News that reminded me of everytime I pretend I’ll do yoga in the morning
A lower court ruled that Alabama’s new congressional map that would give Black people only one congressional representative violated the Voting Rights Act and the supreme court was like, they can use it for now. Given that the supreme court will not be hearing this case until 2023 means this map will impact the midterm elections. Let’s be clear, the United States of America has never been a democracy much like I’ve never intended on keeping my promise to myself to do yoga in the morning. The idea of yoga in the morning sounds rejuvenating but in reality it’s a challenge that is deeply antagonistic with my love for laying down and doing nothing. Democracy sounds nice but it would really get in the way of this country’s love for racism. Having said that, the supreme court, hinting that it will no longer even maintain the pretense of democracy, is much like me not even pretending that I will do yoga in the morning. It means that I’m unapologetically embracing my true nature. Unlike the supreme court, my true nature is actually good. I embrace slumber over work, while the United States of America’s true nature is embracing racism over democracy.
News that made me rethink never going to Staten Island
Staten Island is the butt of all jokes, as it should be. I say that having never stepped foot on Staten Island. Okay that’s not true. I have taken the Staten Island Ferry, gotten off the Ferry, then got right back on the Ferry, never leaving that weird little mall/transit hub. However, today I have nothing but positive things to say about Staten Island because Amazon workers there have garnered enough support to vote for unionization at two warehouses in Staten Island. This is probably the most exciting thing that has happened in Staten Island since the WuTang Clan. I say probably because like I said I have never veered into the deep terrains of the island. However, this latest development might finally convince me to make a real visit this time. What does one need to navigate the Island of Staten?
That’s it for the news, but don’t leave yet
If you’d like to see Feel the News: The Comedy Show IRL, we’ll be in Brooklyn this Friday at 6:30. Get those tix here.
I’m currently reading Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good and it’s making me feel very good. I couldn’t find a link to a free book so please let me know if you find one. Otherwise you can buy it at AK Press an anarchist publisher.
❤️
Your favorite anarchist comedian,
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