The mayor of NYC and the governor of New York hate unhoused people
Not shocked
Super excited to announce that I had cake for breakfast and I’ll be doing 20 minutes of stand up comedy at Friends and Lovers on Friday, February 25th…onto the news!
News that got me feeling like we should all move into the subway
Eric Adams, a man who thinks being a vegan means eating meat when no one is looking, and Kathy Hochul, New York state’s governor, hate unhoused people. Eric and Kathy have launched a plan to harass unhoused people seeking comfort in the subway because the subway wasn’t meant for “housing”. My feelings are that as long as people don’t have a place to live, anything is fair game for housing, including Eric Adams’ home in New Jersey. If you don’t want people sleeping in the subway, give them a home to sleep in. We have enough housing for everyone, but Eric and Kathy don’t want to put people in that housing because putting people in nice housing would set this unacceptable precedent that housing is a human right. We simply cannot have that because what’s next, people thinking they deserve to live without working. Oh no! Well the system would simply fall apart. Send in the cops, they say. Eric and Kathy should star in their own sitcom called, The Cops Will Fix That where they send the cops in to “fix” things that require a solution that would force capitalists to stop sucking up all the resources for their objectively ugly outfits.
News that surprised me
In an effort to be the most evil villain in the game, Jeff Bezos aka Mr. Amazon (no relation to the forest) acquired a minority stake of Air Transport Services Group (ATSG) in 2021. ATSG specializes in inhumanely deporting immigrants. Obviously inhumane deportations is redundant. This is not new news and I’m not surprised by it. Just like I’m not surprised by the fact that I ate cake for breakfast this morning. People say you should have a healthy breakfast and I say cake is a healthy breakfast because it makes me happy. What I am surprised by is that people are asking Amazon to divest from ATSG as if you can simply ask a vampire to stop sucking blood. Listen, I mean you are reading this but you know what I mean. Daddy Amazon aka Jeff Bezos loves being evil. Why would you think for a second that he would simply stop doing something because it’s evil? The only way to get Amazon to divest from a company that takes joy in brutally deporting immigrants is by getting Jeff Bezos to believe that those flights are actually freely transporting Amazon warehouse workers to a well deserved free vacation.
News that made me happier than eating cake for breakfast
Haitian garment workers are currently striking for higher wages and you all know nothing brings me more joy than workers fighting back against evil capitalists. These workers are standing up to clothing manufacturers like Robert Rothbaum, who attempted to shut down a factory without paying workers. Robert was forced to “barricade” himself in the factory to avoid the striking workers. Yes, I typed that sentence while smiling with glee. Of course Robert is a citizen of the United States of America because the US does not send its best people anyway. The United States of America only exports exploitation, which is why the factories owned by US citizens in Haiti are reaping profits while paying workers as little as 4 dollars a day. Hence, Haitian workers rebelling against greedy US employers isn’t just a rejection of mistreatment, it’s also a rejection of the amerikkkan away and that brings me so much joy. The only thing that could bring me more joy right now is if I still had some cake left for lunch. Okay, not the same amount of joy. Striking workers is definitely better than cake for all meals. Slightly better.
That’s it for the news, but don’t leave yet
ICYMI This week on Feel the News short videos, I talked about Biden stealing Afghanistan’s money and Starbucks launching an anti-union website.
Life is hard for me currently but I’ve been finding some joy in watching Abbott Elementary.
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Your favorite anarchist comedian,
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