Rich white people pay for private police

because their opulence depends on exploitation

I took a much needed break last two weeks but I’m back. Onto the news …

News that made me list what it takes to be a boss Karen

The wealthy white people of St. Louis, Missouri don’t think there are enough police so they rely on a private police service called the City’s Finest to serve their exploitative needs. This is some boss level Karen* shit for multiple reasons. First, you don’t just want to call the police, you want to own the police. As if the police don’t already belong to rich white people. Second, to unironically call this rich people’s gang the City’s Finest shows a certain level of devotion to cruelty that only a Boss Karen would possess. Thirdly, the rich whites of St. Louis feel like they need the private police because there aren’t enough police to “provide basic services”. The basic services they speak of include tracking down a burglar of a designer jean store. The City’s Finest are racing to crack this case because no rich person should ever be deprived of the right to comfortably shop for the designer jeans they’ll wear while yelling at their exploited workers. Yelling at people in not-designer jeans just won’t do. Fourthly, the City’s Finest private police force is staffed by current St. Louis cops. So when the cops are done harassing people on the taxpayer dime, they can go harass people on Karen’s dime. Cops being paid twice to harass Black people is a Boss Karen’s dream because Karens know their opulent lifestyle depends on exploitation. You can’t maintain exploitation without a police force just like you can’t be a good exploiter without your designer jeans. That’s why Karen’s all over the country are getting their own private police.

*I use Karen as a gender neutral noun for anyone who loves the police

News that made me come up with another definition for Bezos

The Secretary General of the United Nations said that providing Pakistan with financial assistance after flooding that has killed over one thousand people is not charity but justice. I would argue that providing financial assistance to victims of global warming which has been mostly driven by 100 companies isn’t justice enough. Justice is completely dismantling a system that depends on the destruction of nature and humanity to survive like some giant roomba that feeds off of suffering. I’m talking about capitalism, not just Jeff Bezos. If Jeff was a roomba and you emptied him, people’s hopes and dreams would fall out and that’s why he is the best mascot for capitalism.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t give money to the people of Pakistan because that would make me a Bezos*. Give people who need support in Pakistan money now but understand it’s not enough. What is enough is how much the ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays the jovial tune to let people know ice cream is here. That tune is annoying enough. In the long run justice for Pakistan and other victims of climate change will not be served by giving them money, the engine of capitalism. Pursuit for money at the expense of nature and humans drives global climate change. Money is the problem, not the solution. Solving problems caused by money with money is like trying to get rid of a red wine stain from your white shirt by washing it in red wine. No one would do that because it doesn’t make sense, unless you have a market for selling wine stained shirts. Capitalism has a market for selling pain and suffering.

*a roomba that feeds off of pain

News that made me happier than skipping my 8:30 am college class

When the Arizona State University (ASU) administration wasn’t going to stop a fascist from speaking on campus, the Phoenix Anarchist Federation didn’t just let the students of ASU drown their sorrows in a keg, the organization organized with them to resist the spread of hate on their campus. This news made me happier than every single time I made the decision to skip my 8:30 am class in college.

The College Republicans United (CRU) of ASU invited Jared Taylor, a man who is on the who’s who list of white supremacists because the United in CRU is referring to these college republicans’ unity to spread hate. Taylor’s Southern Poverty Law Center’s (SPLC) biography is something any grand wizard would be proud of. “He is the  founder of New Century Foundation” an organization that used to publish the racist American Renaissance journal. According to the SPLC Taylor also “hosts an American Renaissance Conference” which is like a Coachella for racist intellectuals. Beyoncé will never be invited to perform at this conference. After reading this biography, the ASU administration wasn’t like, oh no maybe we shouldn’t let a man who doesn’t need to wear a white hood for us to know he brunches with the KKK on our campus. They were like, actually we will provide him and the people who want to come listen to Taylor with security. Yes, Taylor and his minions really needed protection from the 100 people picketing outside the event venue with signs in case they accidentally bumped a sign and got a paper cut. The good news is that there were 100 people standing up to fascism when the university would not. These 100 people were probably the reason why the event had a miniscule attendance and ended early. This is proof that if we all stand up against fascism, we will win.

That’s it for the news, but don’t go yet

This newsletter will also be published in Shado. Shado is a lived-experience led community of artists, activists, and journalists fighting for social change. Go over and check them out.

On TikTok last week I shared my thoughts on Jay Z calling capitalism a slur and people who are pro-capitalism complaining about capitalism being mean to them

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Your favorite anarchist comedian,

Marcela