Republicans and Democrats are funded by billionaires
Which shouldn't surprise you
I’ll be discussing stories from this newsletter and more on Feel the News + Friends the comedy hour tonight at 5pm ET on YouTube Live. Register for the YouTube link and a reminder here. Onto the news…
News that got me saying I told y’all not to trust Joe
Joe Biden has renominated a Trump federal judge, Jennifer Rearden, whose greatest hits include defending an apartment building for discriminating against people living with HIV/AIDS. This renomination of a soulless judge by Joe proves that the main difference between Joe Biden and Trump is that one of them has a tanning budget. Obviously Trump didn’t elect Reardan because of her dedication to improving the lives of humanity. Another one of Reardan’s greatest hits was representing Chevron the oil company against a human rights lawyer. Yes, Joe renominated a judge who is against human rights which is not surprising because maintaining human suffering was one of Joe’s silent campaign promises. Biden keeps showing us over and over who he is, which is a corporate Pinocchio. Instead of being built by Gepetto, he was built by corporate donors. Instead of his nose growing when he lies, he falls up the stairs. The only silver lining to all this is that people are finally catching on that he doesn’t care about them. Joe’s approval rating is at 42%, which is the second lowest of any president after one year. Yes, the only president with a lower rating after their first year is Trump. Also, I’m really surprised at the 42% approval rating because I knew corporations were people too, but I didn’t know they made up 42% of the US voting populace.
News that got me singing “cash rules everything around me”
Billionaires “donated” 1.5 billion dollars to the 2020 United States election and by donating I mean they paid politicians to tell you to pull yourself up by your own bootstraps and become your own doctor instead of begging for free healthcare. The 1.5 billion dollars was split pretty evenly between democrats and republicans with republicans getting 55%. The republicans got the extra 5% for being openly cruel. Billionaires funding the Democrats and Republicans similarly should be additional proof to you that Wyclef was right when he said “cash rules everything around me”. Also, if you needed additional proof that Democrats and Republicans are part of the same team, this is it. I’m not sure why you needed more proof though because you still don’t have free healthcare. The reason why billionaires are able to throw as much money at politicians to make sure global climate change takes Florida is because of Citizens United, a supreme court case ruling. Citizens United said corporations are people too and they shouldn’t be limited about how much money they can “donate” to elections because money is free speech blah blah blah. Anyway the point I want to make is that a government run by corporations allowing corporations to bribe lawmakers is not the system being broken, it’s the government working as it should. If you don’t remember your history, the so-called United States was started by white men enslavers who only allowed rich white men to vote because the purpose of the government of any state is to get the elites what they want at your expense. So everytime you are wondering, why won’t the government do anything for me, ask yourself, would Jeff Bezos’ bodyguard let you punch Jeff in the face?
News that I’m sorry to share with you
I’m sorry but I have to end this week's newsletter by talking about Trump again because he is a toxic shrub that just keeps oozing toxins. In his desperation to keep his throne as the leader of the imperialist headquarters, Donald Trump spitballed ordering the military to seize voting machines. I use spitball in the very literal sense here, as in Donald Trump wrote random ideas on a piece of paper, chewed them up, threw them at the wall, then picked ideas that stuck to the wall. Seizing election machines must have stuck to the wall because the Donster had this plan drafted into an executive order. This man had the confidence that he could just overturn the election by an executive order and that right there should be proof to you that when politicians want something done they will find a way to get it done. So the reason why they will not help you in any way is because they don’t want to. Nonetheless, Trump’s reasoning for seizing the election machines was that they were compromised by foreign powers, which is super ironic because for a lot of his presidency a lot of people assumed Trump was compromised by foreign powers. As you know Donny poo’s executive order never happened and I really want to know why it didn’t. It can’t be because they thought it wouldn’t work because from what it looks like, “not going to work” was not a dealbreaker for any of Trump’s plan to stay in office.
That’s it for the news, but don’t leave yet
You can now listen to the Feel the News + Friends podcast on Apple Podcasts and Spotify or wherever else you get your podcasts from.
If you want to see me talk about non-news related things I’ll be at the Calvin Cato Show streaming at 4pm ET on RushTix and it’s free!
Lastly, I’m still reading “all about love” by bell hooks and you should read it too. I’ve learned so much about myself from it.
❤️
Your favorite anarchist comedian,
P.S. If you like what you just read, share it with a friend! If you didn’t like it, share it with your enemies. It’s super easy. The button is right below this sentence.