More police doesn’t equal less "crime"
less capitalists equal less crime
I’m really excited to announce that Feel the News the comedy show is coming to Manhattan and you will be able to stream the IRL show online. Buy tickets on the Caveat NYC website to stream online or come to the IRL show…onto the news!!
News that got me thinking that everyone who can should walk more
We paid six dollars a gallon for gas last week in California and I immediately had the urge to leave our rental car on the side of the road and walk for the four hour drive. Six dollars can get me two patties and a drink at my favorite vegan restaurant in Flatbush and here I was feeding a car I didn’t want to rent at the same price of feeding myself. It shouldn’t cost more money to drive a car than it would cost me to live, but that’s just the price I have to pay for oil companies to make record profits. The top oil companies have made an average of 236% more than they did last year by making people cry at the gas pump. Too bad tears can’t be used to fuel cars because I’m sure we have enough to keep LA traffic at its worst given the world we live in.
Oil companies making money off our tears is expected because capitalism runs off our tears. What’s surprising to me is that people are asking Joe Biden and the government to do something about gas price gouging. As if the oil companies and the government aren’t the same entity. That’s like asking a bully to tell his fist to stop punching your face. The government is literally helping oil companies destroy the planet so the government is definitely not going to stop oil companies from stealing from us. The only way we make this stop is if we do something. I propose everyone who can to just leave their car on the side of the road and start walking.
News that had me saying Fuck Eric Adams again
People are more scared of coming to work in Manhattan because of crime than because of COVID, as exhibited by the amount of unmasked people bravely coughing and sneezing in the train. People used to hide their little coughs but now they are just coughing and no one is giving them dirty looks. People are more scared of crime than COVID because the media has helped Eric Adams scare people into thinking living in New York city today is like living through an episode of the walking dead where you have to evade zombies to survive. Ever since Eric Adams decided to leave his villain lair in New Jersey to become mayor of NYC, “media mentions of violence have surged” like the price of gas.
The media coverage of crime currently far “outweighs the incidents” as shown by this graph from Bloomberg below. If Bloomberg is calling out the media for overblowing crime, you know something is off. That would be like a toddler telling you the cookie jar is open and right next to their bed.
Eric Adams and the media are working overtime to get people to believe crime is at a high even though it’s much lower than the 80s/90s is proof that the media is run by capitalists who are scared their greed is pushing people too far. Capitalists want to scare people into believing things are dangerous so the public is more open to increasing police presence. More police means capitalists are more protected when we finally decide that it’s time we beat their asses. It’s time you tell everyone around you that more police doesn’t equal less crime and less capitalists equal less crime so they stop looking up to the villains known as the police for salvation.
News that made me smile
Last week I had a very tasty peanut popcorn snack from Trader Joe's which made me so happy. Today Trader Joe's’ workers are bringing me joy again because workers of Hadley, Massachusetts have unionized. The people of Hadley Massachusetts can enjoy those tasty popcorn snacks with a dash less of exploitation and I can enjoy humanity with a dash less of cynicism. Every single time I hear about workers unionizing, my belief in humanity is revived a tiny bit more because it reminds me that people are willing to fight their evil overlords. I call companies evil overlords because they think it’s their right to exploit us. That’s why, whenever workers try to unionize, companies take it personally. Unionizing makes companies feel oppressed and so it’s no surprise that Trader Joe's was not going to take workers’ efforts to be treated well lying down. Trader Joe’s showed everyone that it wants to keep its snacks laced with maximum exploitation by hiring a union busting firm to tell workers to vote no on the union. Despite all these efforts, the workers in Hadley handed Trader Joe's a big L, and this is enough to keep me smiling for today.
That’s it for the news, but don’t go yet
Just a reminder Feel the News the comedy show is coming to Manhattan and you will be able to stream the IRL show online. Buy tickets to stream online or to come to the IRL show in Manhattan on the Caveat NYC website.
If you want daily reminders that the police and the media are working together to maintain capitalism follow Alec Karakatsanis on Twitter.
Lastly, if you enjoy my writing and you’d like to support my labor and help me make Feel the News into a longer late night show please tip me, become a patron, or become a paying subscriber below.
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