Letting grief in

Sobriety is hard

Last Sunday I decided to stop drinking and getting high. I’ve set my goal for 30 days and so far it’s been pretty difficult. I stopped smoking/eating weed because I realized I was using it as a tool to dissociate from uncomfortable feelings.

I started using weed to self-medicate. I didn’t want to be on pharmaceuticals. Mood stabilizers take away everything from me. However, I slowly started programming my life around getting high and I decided maybe it was time to give it a break.

I stopped drinking because I noticed when I stopped consuming weed, I drink more. I really don’t like drinking but it served the same purpose as weed. It helped me dissociate. So I’ve been seven days sober now and I wrote this poem on my fourth/fifth day to describe my feelings of being sober. Onto the poem…