Hi there, today I’m sharing my feelings on Joe Biden approving the Willow Project, people in Hawaii whose water was poisoned by the US government being taxed for their relocation, Avril Lavigne not caring about the environment, and the longest cyclone ever-recorded raging in southeast Africa. Onto the news…
News that made me say Joe Biden hates polar bears
Joe Biden, a man who cares more about oil companies than people and nature, has approved the Willow Project. The Willow Project, ironically named after a tree, will destroy nature by allowing ConocoPhillips, an Oil company, to drill for oil in Alaska.
Joe, I know we can’t agree that destroying the planet for oil companies to make more money is a bad idea. However, can we at least agree on the fact that naming a planet destroying project after a tree is tasteless? Maybe that’s too much to ask from a man who lied that he would mitigate global climate change to win the election.
The Willow Project isn’t tasteless in name only, it’s also tasteless in terms of the environmental damage it will cause. The Willow Project will be located in a critical wildlife habitat which would be endangered by the drilling. Additionally, it would release carbon emissions “equivalent to 2 million gas-powered cars” according to NPR. This is all information revealed by the Bureau of Land Management (BLM), a government agency.
So if the government knows this project is terrible, why would Joe Biden move forward with it? I’ll answer this question with another question. Why does Jeff Bezos make his workers pee in cups? Cue song, money money money. It’s always about the money!
Joe is approving the Willow Project, which Trump approved but was blocked by a judge, because Joe and Trump sat in the office of the president to make corporations money. The judge blocked the Willow Project previously because the judge was worried about polar bears. Turns out, in addition to being liars, hating polar bears is another thing that Joe and Trump have in common.
News that made me realize I’m not that negative
According to Truthout, the so-called United States’ navy poisoned “the Southern O’ahu Basal Aquifer in Honolulu, a water source for 100,000 people with fuel from the Red Hill Bulk Fuel Storage Facility,” then relocated the affected people, and then taxed the people for the cost of the relocation. One of the people poisoned owes as much as $3400 in taxes.
As a person who expects all evil from the United States of America, this is something that I could not have ever dreamt. I guess I’m not as negative as people say I am.
Poisoning people to maintain an unnecessary military force? That’s just another Tuesday for the US government. It’s like me popping an edible before a stressful meeting. If you are reading this HR, this is a joke, I’m a comedian during my free time. Poisoning its own “citizens” and making them pay for it? This was not on my bingo cards for what the US government is capable of.
Actually, now thinking about it for another second I realize that this happened in Hawaii, not the Upper East Side of Manhattan. The major difference between Hawaii and the Upper East Side is colonizers live in one location and the colonized live in the other. I’ll let you guess which one. Hence, it does make sense that the US government would not only let fuel leak into Hawaii’s water supply, but also make people affected pay for it.
If you are not a white person and you live in the United States, expect to be treated how the US treats the people it colonizes across the globe. Like you owe the US government for helping you rebuild your house when the US government is the one that burned your house down.
News that made me tell Avril Lavigne her music isn’t that great
Avril Lavigne kicked off stage an activist who interrupted her during the Juno Awards. The activist was protesting against the government's plan to build homes on Ontario’s Greenbelt. The Greenbelt is the largest area of protected land in the country. Hence, one might argue that whatever Avril was going to say was a lot less important than someone telling the state to leave nature alone, but Avril didn’t seem to think so.
As someone who used to cry to Avril Lavigne’s ballads in high school while holding my journal, I’m very disappointed in Avril. This was Avril’s opportunity to prove her radicalness went beyond wearing a tie and t-shirt in the 2000s. I know it doesn’t sound radical now but Avril is the only reason why a lot of people in my high school owned a tie. I don’t know for sure, but it’s just a hunch that I have.
Instead of kicking the activist off stage, Avril could have handed the activist her microphone and let her tell the masses why destroying nature is terrible. Why landback is the only way for us to be free. Instead Avril chose to pick her terrible career over the environment. I know this sounds petty but, Avril, your songs aren’t good enough for you to not care about the environment. No one's songs are that good.
I should have known that Avril is like most celebrities whose only purpose is to serve themselves and the capitalists. Avril couldn’t take a moment to care about the environment because she’s too busy worrying about how to please her capitalist bosses who launched her into fame by tricking tweens that she was some radical teen. This was partially our fault. We should have known anyone who views skater boys as an oppressed class is not radical at all.
News that made me very upset…it’s okay I cried about it
Over 500 people in Mozambique, Malawi, and Madagascar have died from floods caused by Cyclone Freddy, a cyclone that has been raging since the end of February. If you are like me and you don’t know anything about cyclones, this is a very long time for a cyclone to be hanging on.
In fact, Freddy has been going on for so long that according to Al Jazeera, “The World Meteorological Organization has convened an expert panel to determine whether Cyclone Freddy has broken the record for the longest-ever cyclone in recorded history.”
Freddy has global climate change to thank for its reign of torture. And global climate change can thank Joe Biden for making sure it gets stronger every day.
What’s upsetting about Freddy hitting these countries is that none of them gained from heating up the planet, yet they are suffering the consequences. To be clear, no one has gained from global warming other than billionaires, but the consequences of global climate change will affect the poorest people of the world the most.
That’s why billionaires are singing let it burn while some of us are writing letters to our own government who supposedly represent us to pick us over oil tycoons. The letters won’t work but burning things that are not the planet might.
I do emphasize that the people of Malawi, Madagascar, and Mozambique haven’t gained from global climate change though because all they’ve gotten is exploitation. They haven’t even gotten the lip service of low gas prices being the price for turning our home into a fireball.
I’m emphasizing all this because I believe it is the responsibility of the countries that turned the planet into a fireball to pay for Freddy’s damage.
That’s it for the news, but don’t go yet
I’m back on TikTok and this week I talked about Sidney Holmes, a Black man who was imprisoned for 34 years for a crime he didn’t commit.
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I went to the Queer Antifascist + Abolitionist fair today and picked up this really cool zine about how to stop homeless encampment sweeps.
Enjoy this cool propaganda.
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Your favorite anarchist comedian,
Thank you for everything you share and write about. You are a gift 💝
Agree completely with everything you say in this latest of your posts. Thank you! 😁👏