It's time for a rent strike
and booing every cop you see (with a large group of friends)
You will be able to livestream Feel the News the Comedy show on 8/24 at 9:30 pm ET because the IRL show in Manhattan will be recorded. This is the beginning of the anarchist late night show I’ve always dreamt of. So get tickets to stream online or to come to the IRL show in Manhattan on the Caveat NYC website. Onto the news…
News that made me cackle like Snow White’s stepmother
I recently spoke to someone who told me their landlord increased their rent by $900 a month and my mouth gaped wide enough to fit a whole hotdog and a bun. A vegan hotdog, of course! Yes, they make those. Rent is out of control; in fact, rent increases are at a 35 year high and people are asking the government to help. At which I cackle like Snow White’s stepmother when lil’ Snow bit that apple. I’m not laughing to be cruel. I’m laughing because after we’ve watched the CDC become the Olivia Pope for corporations, people still think the government will get in the way of corporations exploiting us to make money. The government literally said COVID-19 doesn’t exist anymore so Spirit can charge you for the air you breathe. They will not save you from your shitty landlord.
The government is the reason why homelessness exists. It’s the reason why landlords feel comfortable siphoning your labor like a frat boy doing a keg stand. At the end of the day, when you don’t pay your rent, Who evicts you? The goons in blue. The goons you pay for. So no, the government will not save us, but we can save ourselves. It’s time for a rent strike. Rent is already theft and these fools are getting greedier and greedier. The only way we stop them is if we meet every single one of our neighbors and together we can tell landlords we’ve decided rent is $0. This can only work if we all do it though. A rent strike isn’t like pooping. You should never do it alone.
News that reminded me I used to watch CSI Miami
The cops who killed Breonna Taylor lied to get the warrant to search her apartment. Duh! Of course they did. That’s as surprising as that one time I touched water and my hand was wet. One thing you can count on is for gushers to be tasty and for cops to lie. Cops lie because their existence is based on a lie. The lie is that cops are here to keep us safe. This lie is as blatant as your coworker telling you they didn’t steal your lunch as they eat your lunch in front of you. All the evidence points towards the fact that cops are actually here to ensure our exploitation and that’s why they always lie.
If cops were a restaurant on Yelp, they’d be paying people to do their reviews because if they didn’t, they would have a one star rating with the the main recurring comment being, this place should be shut down. Cops do pay people to say nice things about them now. The “LA sheriff’s department for example has 42 people in its PR team”. They need these 42 people to post stories of cops saving kittens to distract you from the fact that the cops are the reason why you have to pay your high ass rent. It’s unspoken but we know that if we don’t do what we are “supposed to do”, i.e., work until we die, there is a barrel of the gun on the other end.
They’ve trained us to expect violence to the point that they don’t have to be there to police us. We police ourselves and we police what they want us to police. Most of us will immediately call the police when we see someone breaking into a car, but we will not call the police when someone is denied healthcare because they can’t afford it. It’s because deep inside we all know that the cops are here to do the opposite of keeping us safe and that’s why they have to keep lying. They have to keep lying because if they don’t, we will all know that there is no way a cop in Miami solved every single case. Yes, CSI Miami was all a lie. The only thing real on that show is maybe David Caruso’s red hair.
News that made me happier than eating gushers while high
When a group of people were locked out of their home in Chicago, they did not ask the government for help. With support from local anti-capitalist groups, they reclaimed their home. I read this news this morning and it made me happier than when I ate the box of gushers last night after getting very high. But guess who was called when the people wanted to claim their right to housing? The cops! I told you they suck. Can you imagine if every single time the police did things that were unethical, they were met with the resistance of all our neighbors. What world would that be if we made their jobs so difficult and booed them everytime? What if we made being a cop an unacceptable job in our society? I don’t have the answers because I’m not a crystal ball, but I can only imagine. What are your thoughts? Let me know in the comments.
That’s it for the news, but don’t go yet
This week on TikTok I talked about Greg Abbott, the shitty governor (aren’t they all shitty?) of so-called Texas, busing people who’ve crossed the border to New York.
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