Hiii, it’s my second day of intentionally being sober and, wow, is it hard to be sober in a dystopia. Anyway, I’m here to talk about how your health insurance company is using an algorithm to decline medical treatment. Onto the news…
News that made me say don’t try to lick Joe Biden
Insurance companies are hiring companies to decline treatments recommended by doctors. At this point anyone who has ever had health insurance knows the purpose of insurance companies is to make money for the shareholders and not pay for healthcare. If you are one of those people who still thinks insurance is for healthcare, welcome to capitalism you sweet innocent human. Let me explain to you how things work in this place.
One thing you have to understand, you sweet innocent human, is that a lot of things don’t have a purpose in our world other than to make money. Things like insurance companies, sugar-free candy, and Joe Biden. These things actually don’t provide a service, they are there to harm us in order to make money for some doofus who likes to wear Hawaiian shirts on his yacht in December. The way you check whether something doesn’t have any purpose other than to make money is to lick it. This only applies to the sugar-free candy. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO LICK JOE BIDEN! I don’t know if proudly arming genocide is contagious but I don’t want you to get genocider.
So how do you check whether something doesn’t have any purpose other than making money? Just think about what would happen if we were to get rid of it. If the answer is people will lose their jobs if someone stops digging ditches that engulf people’s families, then the answer is we don’t need it. Yes, we all need a job in this miserable world, which is why I’m constantly telling everyone we should all get together and abandon it. However, digging ditches that swallow people is a job that doesn’t need to exist. This is exactly what people who work at Evicore, a company that helps insurance companies make money by declining necessary healthcare, do.
Evicore uses an algorithm that increases denial rates of doctors’ requests. The Evicore algorithm can increase the likelihood of requests being declined by increasing how many requests are sent to inhouse doctors. The algorithm itself doesn’t reject requests because “only other doctors can reject requests”. Yes, Evicore hires doctors to reject requests from other doctors. Doctors who work at Evicore took the “do harm” oath. Nonetheless, innocent human algorithms are not just for maintaining fascism and genocidal denial. They are also for making sure you don’t get the healthcare you need.
Insurance companies like Cigna are claiming the reason why they employ a company like Evicore is to keep costs down by denying inappropriate requests so “ customers receive safe and necessary medical treatments”. Now we all know that insurance companies are about as honest as anyone who speaks on the podium at a Trump or Kamala rally.
However, if you need more proof that insurance companies see a pinata filled with money when they see their customers, when Evicore “saves” money for insurance companies, Evicore keeps that savings or “in some cases” shares it with the insurance companies. I see no reason why Evicore would be incentivized to reject as many requests as possible. Could it be the pile of money created by the pool of tears from suffering patients?
That’s it for the news but don’t go yet
Yesterday on TikTok I shared my thoughts on globalization.
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Don't lick Joe Biden 🤣