Guantanamo Bay Prison is being expanded
Which is not surprising
Happy New Year. I woke up really high this morning and ate chips and gingersnaps for breakfast. Onto the news…
News that did not surprise me
Guantanamo Bay Prison (GTMO) is still open and seems like it will remain that way for a while as they are building another courtroom in the prison. This is a fixer-upper episode that no one asked for and will likely not make it to HGTV. It’s not surprising that Joe Biden’s administration is not planning on closing the prison given that man has broken more promises than the most unreliable friend in every friend group. A man who cannot keep his promises cannot be expected to go out of his way to do anything that is pleasantly surprising. I’m honestly not expecting any president of a country that takes pride in torturing its own citizens to close down a torture site for “non-citizens”. That would be like your unreliable friend showing up early to an event you knew they weren’t coming to even though they didn’t tell you they weren't coming because being unreliable is their brand. So yes, it’s not surprising that the so-called United States will not close down Guantanamo. Torturing people is the United States’ brand and who would it be without it.
News that showed how much the government hates poor people
States have stockpiled 5.2 billion dollars in welfare funds while poverty rises proving again that the government truly hates poor people and a reminder that there are multiple reasons why Bill Clinton should be added to the faces of people you throw darts at. Bill Clinton gave states “more autonomy” to distribute welfare funds through his 1996 welfare reform, go ahead throw that dart now. If you don’t throw darts at any faces, I highly recommend it. You’re going to have to fight your landlord for your security deposit anyway so make it count. Nonetheless, whenever the federal government gives states the power to do anything, the signal they send is, go ahead do your worst. We all know that states' personalities range from we hate poor people and we let them know (Texas) and we hate poor people but we will pretend that we don’t (Maine), so it’s not a surprise over the years the application approvals for welfare have decreased while welfare dollars kept in the bank have doubled.
News that made me smile
Following the lead of their fellow workers in Buffalo, New York, Starbucks workers in Broomfield, Colorado and Chicago have filed a petition with the National Labor Relations Board to start a union. This news made me smile because whenever I hear workers unionizing I always imagine a capitalist somewhere crying while anxiously pacing back and forth. Capitalists know the only way they can keep exploiting us is through isolating us and making us fight alone. This is why unionization and other collective actions terrify them. If capitalists were a toxic partner, unionization is the friendly drunk women in the bathroom. Like drunk women in a bathroom, unionization not only makes workers more confident, but it gives them the necessary power to stand up for themselves.
That’s it for the news but don’t leave yet
ICYMI This week on TikTok I talked about Biden authorizing more military spending than Trump and capitalist propaganda in the new Matrix.
I’m currently reading “The Wretched of the Earth” by Frantz Fanon.
I also really enjoyed this anarchist 101 infographic by @wokescientist on Instagram.
If you like my view on the news and would like to broadcast it to the world, share it.
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Your favorite anarchist comedian,
P.S. Please share any thoughts you have in the comments.