Campaign contributions are bribes
Also please stop celebrating thanksgiving
Happy Hanukkah! I got high and ate very many donuts at a friend’s Hanukkah Party. I love my friends! Now let’s get to the news that made me angry, sad, and glad.
News that made me angry
Chuck Schumer accepted a $66K campaign contribution, or as I like to call it, a bribe from the CEO of America’s Health Insurance Plans, an insurance company lobbying group. Euphemizing a bribe by calling it a campaign contribution doesn’t change the fact that Chuck Schumer was given this money because insurance companies are terrified that vision and dental plans might be added to Medicare plans, which would prevent their ability to profit from senior citizens who are scared of losing their ability to decipher their grandchildren’s art. Is it a horse or daddy’s face? Grandma needs to know. This news makes me angry because corporations bribing politicians is perfectly legal and people continue to believe the fantasy that we live in a democracy. If we live in a democracy, then why isn’t healthcare and weed free? Why is the government destroying the planet instead of destroying your ability to like your ex’s new boo’s photo on Instagram? I rest my case.
News that made me sad
While a majority of the country was celebrating a holiday that should only exist in a dystopian hellscape which turns out we are in, two Indigenous tribes are fighting to prevent their sacred land from being desecrated by a lithium mine. The Reno-Sparks Indian Colony and Atsa Koodakuh Wyh Nuwu/People of Red Mountain have decried the mine because the sacred land is a graveyard of their ancestors who were massacred by the United States of America in the 1800s. This news makes me sad because this country refuses to give up one day of eating dry turkey and acknowledge the genocide of Indigenous people when the genocide and exploitation is still happening. It’s not worth it to fly from California to Texas to fight with your parents because they refuse to accept that you love tattoos now, just to celebrate genocide. Instead, you could just not fly to Texas, get more tattoos, and maybe support water protectors who are fighting for all of our futures. And if the argument is, thanksgiving is a tradition, well I’m sorry to break it to you but just because something is a tradition doesn’t mean it needs to be kept. In fact, in most cases, most of the traditions that stem from the history of the United States should be rejected. So instead of celebrating thanksgiving, why don’t you start a new tradition where you and your family get together to yell at each other on another day.
News that made me happy
Concerned Shipt Shoppers, a prison abolitionist group has started a petition demanding Target to stop funding police departments. This news makes me happy because it has brought my attention to the fact that our collective throw pillow obsession is fueling the prison industrial complex. As much as it hurts to learn the place you shop at is even more evil than you had assumed, it gives you an opportunity to do something about it. Whether that’s running inside Target screaming those cute sweaters are funding the police to everyone (only do this if you can execute a quick getaway), or signing the petition to tell Target to stop giving money to the cops (a good option), or stopping to shop at Target (even better option if you can replace it with a worker-owned place), or just calmly telling everyone you know about this news (a solid option). The point is, as much as I wish I could go into a cocoon where I know nothing, because then I could just be a comedian who just tells pussy jokes (I have good ones) instead of writing long diatribes about Target, I’m happy when I learn about terrible things because it helps my understanding of why the world is terrible. Knowing why the world is terrible gets us closer to stopping the terribleness, and that’s good.
That’s it for the news, but don’t leave yet…
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ICYMI This week on TikTok I talked about Amazon stealing from workers, dark-skinned black women being too hot for TV, and my Humorous Anti-Capitalist Dictionary now available on Etsy (free for patrons).
I’m currently reading Black Looks by Bell Hooks, a collection of essays on the representation of Black people and how a lot of it is unsurprisingly fueled by white supremacy.
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